Bill's Pool Saga Continues

I finally got my pool to be un-green. And it only cost me $400! The pool has become my nemisis, my White Whale. Saturday we went to the pool store to get a filter part fixed and we told them about the horrific algae problem. They suggested Ultra Super Powerful Algae Destroyer Shock Product. A box of 12 bags was $50. So we bought it.

Get home, add shock to Betsy. Yes I've named the pool. So I add eight bags to Betsy or Cuntface as I also like to call her. And...nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. The water became greener and cloudier. It was 90 degrees and finally felt like summer and we didn't want to sit inside. So we put our bathing suits on, made a drink and sat by the unswimming pool. Occasionally, we would spray ourselves with the garden hose. Isn't it ironic - you're standing next to 35,000 gallons of water and your misting yourself with a garden hose. Life can be so cruel sometimes.

Sunday I vacummed it. Well, vacuuming isn't really the right word. I stirred up the algae at the bottom and moved it from one place to another. Result: Ultra cloudy, greeny goodness. Spent day misting selves with hose next to large body of water. Oh, I forgot to mention that I did get to actually go in the pool Sunday. Not that I wanted to. The vacuum end of the vacuum came off the handle and sunk into the pool. So I had to go get my snorkel and mask and dive into the murky depths to salvage my vacuum head. It was indeed murky too. I had to follow the hose to find it. Rooting around in the murkiness was similiar to a Jaws-type movie but without the sharks and death and stuff.

Fast forward to yesterday. I get home from work and it's still green. So I clean the filter, backwash it, skim it, clean the filter again and the skimmers. Then I start adding the remaining four bags of shock. When I get to bag number two, it's like I dropped an algae grenade into the pool. These bigs hunks of slime start floating to the surface. Aha! Finally got you bastards! I think to myself, 'damn, I wish I had more of this shit'. In comes Alice - well, out comes Alice since I was in the backyard - and lo and behold - she has another twelve bags of shock as well as two bottles of DEATH TO ALGAE or something like that. It was this Super Duper Mondo Ultra Freakishly Powerful Algae killer. It was also $26 a bottle.

I add all twelve bags of the shock and both bottles of the other stuff. This was the equivalent of nuclear war on algae. Long story shorter than it could've been but still pretty long - I woke up this morning to beautiful blue water. Still a little cloudy but I'll take it. So I'm swimming tonight. And I will be swimming on Memorial Day weekend. While you are sweating your asses off and miserable, I will be frolicking in my beautiful pool. Eat that, assholes!