Ok, Ok, just calm down out there

Due to the overwhelming response and requests for more details on the turtle - well ok, there were only two, but they were from both varieties of Jen (with and without the 'nifer' suffix, which is a Middle Swedish name ending that stands for "no picture for you, Bjorn-wheat!") - so here we go.

Name - The big one. There was a little one, till the contractor that came and powerwashed the patio wood fence left the bag of gravel blocking the gap in the fence out of place, and the little one pulled a Steve McQueen 'Great Escape' move. It took me a while to figure out why there was a wrecked Triumph motorcycle out by the ditch.

Age - no clue. The turtle and I are operating under a modified 'don't ask/don't tell arrangement'. I can only vouch for 'more than two, at least' cause that's how long I've had it. It was full grown when it arrived.

Favorite Food - Banana. This leads me to believe it's really a monkey hiding from Frank, or in disguise hoping to lure Frank in close.

Where it came from - uh, the mommy and daddy turtles? An egg? How should I know? All I know is that one night I was sitting in the sunroom. It was raining out, and I hear this 'thump' on the door. I take a look outside. Nothing. A couple of minutes later, another 'thump'. Still nothin. Yet again - 'THUMP'. This time, I open the door, and there it is. Wanders right in. No Admiral Akhbar to warn it of falling into a trap. The little one showed up at the front door a couple of days later. Other than those two, haven't seen hide nor shell of any others around before or since. And btw, since the big breakout, little one hasn't written, hasn't called...hell, not even a post card or text message. Sheesh, and after all that Turkey Spam (another big hit on the hard shelled crowd buffet), too. That's gratitude for ya.